10 years in Haiti
August marks 10 years living in Haiti and
February marked 12 years of being a follower of Jesus. So I’m reposting something I partially wrote a few years ago because the testimony of His faithfulness is too good not to share…
The good, the bad, and the ugly
The blood, sweat, and tears
The highs and the lows
The mountain tops and the valley lows
The births and the deaths
the thrills and the burnouts
I’ve named babies and I’ve bought caskets.
I’ve watched the child overcome starvation and watched starvation kill the child.
I’ve seen miracles and I’ve seen witchcraft
I’ve seen the work of God and I’ve seen the work of the devil.
I’ve dreamed dreams and I’ve lost visions
I’ve had nothing and I’ve been full.
This island taught me to grow up faster than I thought I would through my 20s. And now my early 30s. This island life taught me how to pay taxes, drive without a GPS, and negotiate through any and every purchase. It taught me how to be bold, watch your back, and let go of everything without eternal value. These people have taught me how to love no matter what, forgive even when it hurts, understand that not everything is right vs wrong but sometimes it’s just different.
They’ve taught me how to fight instead of flight. They’ve taught me that stuff doesn’t buy happiness and that the world isn’t fair and that God is the God who sees all, knows all, cares about all, loves all, and will forever be our all.
The last 10 years from age 22 to 32 have been beautifully crafted together by Yahweh. Breathtaking and heart crushing. And though I’m forever scarred with the trauma of what this life I chose has brought me, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Because through it all, I was walking with Jesus. No death, no season, no trauma could steal my peace in knowing Who is in control. No amount of battle wounds could knock me down hard enough to not want to get back up and keep fighting the good fight. Keep running the good race for the sake of making His name known. I fall, I fail, He picks me back up. Every time.
Jesus, the King of Kings, the very being whom we are made in the image of, the man who gave up His life in order to save ours…He is worth all the blood, sweat, and tears. He is worth all the mountaintops of rejoicing and the valley lows of mourning.
Following Him, no strings attached will forever change you. It strengthens you and challenges you. It is the most beautiful, daring, and humbling place to spend your days. In His arms.
Nothing is easy about following a crucified Savior. It will cost you. But if I’ve said it once I’ve said it 1000 times.
It. Is. Worth. It.
Being in His will, whether “safe” or not, is where you’ll find peace. His arms hold me and his lungs breath life in to me and I’ll worship him all the days of my life.
If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.
You’ll find it, and it’ll be the treasure you’ll never let go of. I can promise you that.