Friday, November 24, 2017


It’s not the first time it has happened. The nannies start yelling for help. I drop everything and run into the nursery to find Noviette rolling on the floor, wailing uncontrollably. The babies are put into their cribs for safety for when arms start flying. All that she will say is that her head is “giving her problems”. All I can do is hold her tight and pray. Pray that all evil leaves her body. Pray that the God of angel armies fills her up with tender loving care. That God puts peace into her bones and calms the storm that is raging inside her soul. “You’ve lost Satan. You’re done. You aren’t welcome here and You have no power over this child of God. In the name of Jesus YOU WILL FLEE.” November is a big month for my next door neighbor, the witch doctor. Voodoo is what some people have blamed all of this on. That the spirits enter and exit Noviette’s mind whenever they want. And because she already have special needs, they have easier access into her mind. Fe Kadejak. It means “rape” in the Creole language. Slowly over the months of bringing Noviette to live with me, she has opened up. It was her cousin. He did it multiple times. Her mother knew, yet did nothing. When she sees big men, whether black or white, she trembles. While watching child sing along movies, she will see a man on the tv, and she will whisper…”that looks like Novia’s dad.” It’s panic attacks. It’s flare ups of PTSD. It is her mind scaring her of the past and the unknown future. I wish I could take it all away from her. Noviette is so beautiful. She is always so happy. She loves her new home and her new family. And she knows, no matter what, we at La Limye will do everything we can to protect her. But more than that, I pray she grasps the understanding that God is a good good papa. He holds her hand. He is the one and only protector. Baby Novia is a testimony that HE MAKES BROKEN THINGS BEAUTIFUL. NO EVIL WILL STEAL HER JOY. She is the daughter of a King. She is priceless

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

November pictures

End of the year

Let’s be honest. There is a lot of things missionaries don’t tell their supporters. For instance the feeling of “ burn-out” for fear that finances will stop coming in. Or explaining the stress and chaos of daily life overseas for fear that they might see you as unfit, unqualified. But let’s be real. We need to be real. So take us missionaries off the pedestal. We are no more worthy. No more holy. No more strong. So read into my diary. You’ll hear the good stories. Stories of success and dedication and victories… but be ready, because you’ll see the nitty gritty stuff too. The stuff that I shouldn’t share but have to. You have come on this journey with me as I spill out my heart onto pages. So here we go. Life doesn’t prepare you to bury your newborn child. Life doesn’t prepare you to watch your 2 week old fall unconscious and stop breathing. It doesn’t prepare you for the knocks on your door “offering” children to you time after time again. It does not prepare you for the mountains you must climb in order to get two inches closer to the witch doctors heart. It doesn’t prepare you for the illnesses month after month with the only known cause factor being stress. Nor does life prepare you to be mama to the 10 most rambunctious and darling little girls. 2017 scared me. It has made me wonder if I can keep going. If I can handle this any more. If I jumped in the deep end and suddenly forgot how to swim. But you guys, I’m going to hold on. On February 16th 2011 I gave my heart to Jesus. And when I gave it, I gave all of it. No matter the cost. No matter the sacrifice. No matter the blood, sweat, and tears. Because truly knowing Him is the only thing I want. Life hasn’t prepared me. But He has. He’s constantly been there with me through it all. He has grabbed me when I tried to run. He calmed me when the storm rolled through. He threw out the lifejacket when I jumped into the deep unknown. And he does it every time. So here is to 2018. To new adventures and challenges. To new awakenings and to new lifejackets. Here is to Him. The king of the universe. Who hold all things together. He who counts the stars and calls them all by name. How could any one live life without Him? How could one look to the stars and still not believe? He is the author. The beginning and the last. The one and only. And you will carry you through life if you’ll let him. Trust me, it makes every hardship worth it.