Monday, February 26, 2018

An angel in heaven

On February 15th 2018 at 3:50am, my sweet Sophia was scooped up by the arms of Jesus and carried through the gates of heaven. I awoke to a phone call and immediately took the hour drive to the hospital. I went alone, in complete shock, almost in denial that my baby was gone. I swung open the door to her room and saw her laying there all wrapped in a taped up towel. Cords, feeding tubes, heart monitors, they were already put back in storage. I carried her body to my car, put her on my back seat, and drove home. My nannies said they don’t put babies in morgues here in Haiti, nor do they do funerals, so she went home with me. My security guard built her a box while my neighbor dug a hole. I carried her body from my car to my back piece of property where she is now surrounded by beautiful sunflowers. I am still in utter disbelief. It doesn’t seem real. Her staying in the hospital for 36 days did not prepare me. I fell into the thinking that if she’s made it this long, she will recover. That she will come home. I work hard to hold it together and put a smile on my face but deep down I’m drowning but I still thank God everyday that she got a ticket to go home early and didn’t have to endure this messed up world for too long. I thank God that He decided it is better she go home now than live a life full of pain and illnesses. Lucky duck she is. She has now joined my sweet Melody and the joy I find is in the vision of those two running, laughing, pain free, praising Abba every day in perfect harmony. “The same hand that unwraps firmaments of winging stars wraps liniments around the wounded heart; the One whose breath births galaxies into being births healing into the heart of the broken.” - Ann Voskamp “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.” Psalm 147:3-5 My God is good. So so good. To him I cling.