Life turned upside down.

I’ve written a few updates over the last month on social media but haven’t posted them on here. So this first one was written on September 23rd. The next two blog will be updates to this one. 

Pray for Haiti  

 As always, my friends, family, and anyone who supports or follows La Limyè deserves to know what’s all going on so I’ll try my best to explain it. 

On Sunday September 11th I left Haiti for a 7 day trip to Memphis to visit my family. Things in Haiti have been tough for many seasons now but there was no indication in my mind that things would drastically get worse. Had I have had even the smallest thought that the situation would head south, I never would have left the girls. 

Looking back, how everything played out was so God ordained for reasons I haven’t figured out just yet but  super last minute (since the opening of school was delayed) I spontaneously booked a ticket, threw 4 outfits in a suitcase and left only to barely make it on my flight due to gang violence on the way. I left my computer among other necessities in Haiti because I thought it would be a 7 day quick trip to visit, restock, and head back before school starts. My gut, also known as the Holy Spirit, said to go…so I did… never imagining what would come next. 

The day after I arrived in the States Haiti went into lockdown mode. Lockdown for us means grocery stores are closed, roads are blocked with burning tires, piles of sand, cables, cords, trees, trash, cinderblocks, anything they can find to block the roads so vehicles and taxis can’t pass. Banks shut down, food depot stores are emptied from desperate purchases or looting out of desperation, streets are deserted, hospitals lack supplies because they can’t restock, drinking water gets scarce, kidnappings happen, murders happen, government offices are ransacked, NGO’s are known to be attacked, a prison was overpowered and all the inmates got out, the starving die quicker and the hope for a better tomorrow gets lost in the fires. 

We’ve had little to no fuel in a year. Maybe once or twice a month our city gets a delivery and you and the whole city will park for hours with thousands of others trying to get a few gallons. It’s never enough. So when the Prime Minister mentions gas prices are basically doubling, emotions come out. The government is corrupt, there’s no legit justice system, there’s barely any aid, no job opportunities, school is too expensive, adequate medical care is rare and the people are tired and hungry. Some want to destroy what little the country still has out of anger and confusion and to hold power over others. Others just want to demand change, have a chance at life, make their voices heard, and live a life outside of abject poverty. Others just hideaway and pray to God that they can find the supplies they need while hell on earth encircles them.

Some of the gangs have taken control of certain cities and no one can safely move freely. The police are outnumbered and not well armed. There’s no talk of any international help coming. The people are wanting our Prime Minister to step down. 

It’s been 14 months since the president was assassinated and things slowly became worse and worse. Inflation rocketed, the value of the Gourde decreased, gangs took over villages, the gas you buy is $20+ a gallon and bought on the black market, kidnapping is rampant and I guess all that was being bottled up just finally blew up this past week. 

Being in survival mode and living a complex  hyper vigilance life is one I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  

I understand God is working in ways I don’t yet understand. And I understand that for every other lockdown I’ve been in Haiti with the girls but for whatever reason this time he put me in the States. I know good and well it’s a blessing to be here and He is protecting me and has a reason that one day I might understand, but honestly even knowing these things and trusting God, the “what ifs” are torture. What if I can’t get back for a long time. What if one of the girls gets sick or breaks a leg and they can’t get her to a hospital. What if they run out of drinking water and the well water makes them all sick. What if being at a large ministry puts a target on their backs and the gangs attack and loot the property. What if they’re scared and sad and the one person who always nurtures them is a whole country away. “What ifs” are one of the best tactics that Satan can use. And I’m aware of his stabs and aware of the opportunity to strengthen my faith by resisting his tactics, and I am constantly trying to turn my eyes to the God of the universe who has me and my girls and employees in the palm of His hands. I’m resting in His promises and surrendering my fears to Him and learning to let go and be still but let’s be honest, I’m still human so holding back tears or sometimes flooding the ground everyday since I’ve been here might just have to be accepted. Anyone in my position would want to break down walls to get back to the children they’re raising just to hold them and tell them it’s going to be ok. But there is no safe way to get back right now. So I’m stuck. 

There’s been days where for multiple hours I haven’t been able to get ahold of anyone in my city. They need fuel to run the cell towers and without a functioning country, that’s not possible. 

Since we are low on certain supplies my employees called me a few days ago and said we have to stop the feeding program because we have responsibility over these 10 girls and we’re running low on propane to cook with. They would never stop feeding their own people, their own neighbors if there was anyway to stretch what propane we have left to not risk running out thus our own children not having a way to eat. They made this decision on their own to hand out all the extra rice we had and then lock up because being able find any food at all to buy now is getting harder and harder even if you have the funds. My

girls are being cared for, loved, and fed by our amazing and dedicated employees. And I’ll be eternally thankful for them. 

Anyway, If you’re still reading all of this, thank you. For security reasons I never tell anyone when I’m leaving or coming to or from but so many have asked and now are wondering. I am Stateside, trying to accept that this is Gods plan and He always knows best and no, I don’t know for how long. As soon as the roads open again, I’ll find a way back home. 

I have a few prayer requests that I hope you’ll storm heavens gates with: 

Pray for peace in Haiti, change, and stability so that the dire needs of the people can be met. 

Pray that my girls, employees, and the property at La Limyè stay untouched by the acts of violence. 

Pray for international help to intervene and help regain control of the country. 

Pray for the ones out of drinking water and food and medicine. May God miraculously double the loaves and fish for His people. 

Pray that cell service never goes out completely so that I can continue to communicate with my employees. 

Pray the gangs get dismantled, a good government rises up, and the people of Haiti can worship God in a stable environment. 

Pray for your heart not to only see the crime and destruction and problems of Haiti but to see the beauty on that island and the amazing God fearing people who just want to eat and send their children to school and survive. There is a lot of bad going on, like everywhere, but there’s so much more good to acknowledge too. 

Pray for my heart to have peace, know in Gods perfect timing I’ll be reunited with my girls, and to see Gods fingerprints in these weeks in America. 

Pray for Haiti. The innocent, the hurting, the sick, the hungry, the suffering. God every ounce of our being is putting our trust and hope in You. Split the waters and free the people.

May Gods name and His glory be shown and magnified during all of this. Your will be done.