Esther

I got the message 2 day after she was born. A beautiful 7.5 pound orphaned baby was carried down the mountain by her teenage uncle after losing her mom from child birth complications and her dad from an accident a few months back. She was brought to another ministry, who’s children’s home was already full, so they messaged me. My mind immediately went back to Melody. It had been almost 3 months since the day she breathed her last... but not a single day had gone by that I didn’t think of her sweet soft voice and still small body lying helpless in my arms. I fast forwarded my thoughts and pondered on all the “what-ifs”. What is this baby dies also. What if I have to buy a casket the size of my purse all over again. I had already given away all of my baby clothes. I was scared. Scared to be hurt again. Scared to love again. Scared to try again. She was orphaned. She had no mother and no father and I was asked to take on that role. How could I say no? I saw her precious picture light up on my phone and I took a deep breath and relied. “ yes, I am still taking in children.” Ann Voskamp said “Not one thing in your life is more important than figuring out how to live in the face of unspoken pain.” I had to learn to cope. I had to live by faith. As I clenched my fist as if I am clinging onto the hands of Jesus, I said yes. “Maybe this broken way is making something new. He is making all things new.” Welcome home, Miss Essie. You’ve given me my strength back. You’ve given me hope. I love you, sweet girl.