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Showing posts from 2020

Masterpieces

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  “why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?” Matthew 6:28-30    Y’all, I saw this bug on my front porch and was beyond amazed. It’s as if God said “I’m going to take a little extra time on this little Caribbean bug that most people will casually walk by and squash and paint a masterpiece on its back."   It literally looks like someone painted his shell. And someone did. The God of the universe that knows every hair on your head, every cell in your body and every thought in your mind. He made this artwork and called it GOOD.    And yet Jesus talks about the wildflowers and the birds and how they are provided for with what they need without all the hussle and bussle

Rainbows and Razor wire

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Branch: “You don’t know anything, Poppy, and I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you realize the world isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows, because it isn’t. Bad things happen, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”  Poppy: “I know it’s not all cupcakes and rainbows, but I’d rather go through life thinking that it mostly is instead of being like you. You don’t sing, you don’t dance, so grey all the time!” What was the first thing you saw in the picture? The rainbow or the razor wire?  There’s been times when joy would fill my heart like the excitement everytime I see a rainbow in the sky and then within an instant, I am reminded what still lingers... Death, disease, trauma, shame, hate, sin. It’s like the reminder that the rainbow comes only after the dreary rain. It’s like the devil is constantly trying to throw the sharp, dangerous, fearful razor wire into our vision when all we want to see is God and His majesty in the skies.  We want to see cupcakes and rainbows but

For the Newbie

It was the month of June. A Monday afternoon. The girls were playing outside. It was 3 months into our new normal of staying inside our 4 walls while the mysterious virus raged through our world. There was a “knock” at the gate. From that simple knock, we knew something was wrong. All the girls were rushed into our safe room. I stood on the porch, watching, while texting a friend and calling another. Someone needed to know what was going on in case things escalated. Tensions rose, demands were verbalized, guns were shot. And time stood still, again. It shook me to my core and this instance by far wrecked me more than any other from the past. Or, perhaps, all the rest of the traumatic experiences were finally catching up to me now and my mind was acutually accepting the results of trauma and its triggers. Desperate times call for desperate measures and La Limyè was the chosen target. My name was the target. On that Monday afternoon we received a not so lovely visit from the local gan

When Everything Broke

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I flew back into Haiti last Tuesday after spending one week in America. It was a much-needed week of refreshment after having ten staff members living on site and keeping the girls inside for several months when the virus first started spreading. Tuesday came and went yet my luggage did not. Wednesday, Thursday, and then Friday went by before finding that 46lb suitcase filled with supplies for the ministry. A trip to the airport is an all-day adventure. Roadblocks from gangs robbing vehicles and throwing rocks, insane bumper to bumper (or hood, or passenger side door) traffic from no one obeying 4-way stops, and police with automatic weapons making sure we have a driver’s license every few hundred meters down Route 9 caused for delay after delay after delay. Finally, I got my luggage and after 4 days back in Haiti, I felt like I could finally settle back in and spend time with the girls like I had just arrived. Little did I know what was in store for the next week. It a weird “what i

The First Few Seasons

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Once upon a time I moved to Haiti. It was August 2013 and I remember that first day like it was yesterday. I had just turned 22. I moved in with a Haitian family whom I didn’t even know their names. They had a two-story cinderblock cemented house. It was beautiful on the outside; a sidewalk lined with seashells to the backdoor with the scent of flowers that overtook the path along the way. The husband, wife, and their two young kids lived downstairs and my quarters were upstairs. That first night was like no other. I had two rooms, a bathroom, and a front and back porch. The back porch overlooked a giant mango tree, the front porch overlooked highway 1, a busy highway that goes North and South along the island of Haiti. Across the street was a junkyard/repair shop and a tire store where you could get air put in your tire for 5 cents. Before moving to Haiti, I grew up sheltered and shy. Danger or risks weren’t in my vocabulary. Third worlds didn’t even exist in the map in my brain.

My advice to you, my little ones

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I’ll pour into you the little bit of wisdom I have every second I get, but eventually, you’ll be on your own. All grown up taking on the world. So here is my advice for you: Love entirely. Be so full of love that people yearn to know where it comes from, then show them Jesus. Love like He did. To the beggar, to the prostitute, to the outcast, to the poor. "love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude." 1Peter 3:8 Give until it hurts. We aren’t taking anything with us my love so give it all away. Find that joy in watching others receive. Give when no one is watching. Give over and abundantly to the Lord and His people. "it is more blessed to give than to receive." -Jesus Be Bold against the world. Fight against the injustice. Fight for the poor to have a voice, speak up for the rejected, the unwanted, the oppressed, the orphan, the homeless, the addict. Be bold enough to want to change the ugly in our world and refus

Lazarus

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You've probably heard the story from Luke chapter 16. The one we might just skip because we don’t really want to hear it. The rich man who lived in luxury each day and Lazarus, the poor beggar that lay at his gate. Lazarus longed for scraps from the rich man’s table. He was hungry. He had nothing. Perhaps Lazarus yearned for what the rich man had. It looked appetizing in the “now”. Perhaps the future destiny of this rich man with indifference to the poor wasn’t being taken into consideration by the poor beggar, but for now, the luxury set upon the rich man’s table looked good. To have a rich lifestyle looked exciting, having the fame and the fortune looked appealing. So many of us in the world our aiming for fame or fortune, right? We want the ease, the comfort, the luxury; its attractive. We yearn for more followers on social media. We buy the fancy clothes to make us appear prettier. We try and say all the right words to get the best job climbing the tallest ladder to succes

An excerpt from our Spring Newsletter

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Emmanuel - God With Us! Do you ever wonder, “Where is God?” We are living in difficult times right now wondering what will be made of all this. How long will it last? Illness seems to be overtaking the world, the loss of jobs, the lack of medical equipment, our anxiety for the future, our hungry stomachs and hungry souls…all have us wondering, “Where is God?” During the Easter Season, It Feels Like We Are on Day Two. On day one, Jesus is crucified. He was to rise from the grave, but with such agony, it was hard for the people to remember and believe. On day three He is risen from the dead…but what about day two? Don’t you think the world wondered what would become of all this? Is it really over? So much pain and confusion, heartache and grief. But Then Day Three Came! It came then, and it will always come because God is still on the throne. He is still in charge and will always be with us. We are His body on earth and it is our job to tell the world that yes, day two is frig

Life in Haiti during a Pandemic

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I feel guilty for writing a blog about my life when it seems the world is falling apart all around us. This is just for my supporters and prayer partners through the ministry who have asked for an update. So here is where I've been the last few weeks: "Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm."   Isaiah 7:9 From the time of hearing the first case of Coronavirus had arrived in Haiti until 10 days later when the last flight would leave Haiti with no others authorized to come or go until the unknown future, I cried out to God for an answer.  Literal tears in almost frustration towards God that I didn’t feel like I had a clear answer as to if I was to stay in Haiti, or go to America. Deep down I knew the answer. I knew what I had to do, but fear shook me to my core.  Every few hours the embassy would send out an email:  “ American citizens who wish to return to the United States should plan to do so immediately .  The U.S. Embassy is no

Haiti - Level 4: Do Not Travel

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 I read it, but couldn’t believe it.  Sadness and frustration flooded me. Again?  I mean seriously, again? This time around there aren’t any roadblocks, or looting businesses. This time around there aren’t any burning tires or falling asleep to the sound of gunshots.  Gas stations are still well stocked with fuel, kids are still in school, normal life seemed to be coming back in after so many weeks of lockdown last fall. But this time around it’s on a whole different level. As we are all shocked that Haiti is now a level 4 again…right up there with Afghanistan and Iran, we know that the issues going on are so heavy and so traumatizing that even though there are no burning tires like we are used to, level 4 is where we are and I have to accept that.  Day after day there are reports of kidnappings. There has been a huge rise of kidnappings in the last few months where ransom amounts are sky high.  Some days up to 15 victims. A few days ago it was stated 6 in one hour. Young and old,

When loving feels like failing

Sometimes, I feel like a failure. Like I’ve failed God. Failed humankind. Failed my job. I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life and it has caused me much harm. But what I’ve learned is that you can’t focus on pleasing people. You can’t help everyone. You can’t hold that weight. You were never intended to. You must only focus on pleasing and serving God.  Some days I want to throw in the towel…but don’t get me wrong, I love my job here. I love this ministry, and I love living in Haiti. I am nowhere near the “burnt out” stage, but some days I feel beaten, hard pressed, overwhelmed, mentally exhausted, and ready for a day off...or two. That is normal. No one said following a crucified Savior would be rainbows and flowers.  When these days come I catch myself feeling like I should have just stuck with being a waitress. I was good at that. I could handle that. I could see the issue like an empty glass and go fill it with tea. No confusion, no contemplating whether I’m helping whi