One Year Ago Today

 One year ago today. 

I left on a whim. School was delayed a whole month so I decided last minute to fly to the States to visit family for 10 days and get some last minute supplies. 

Half way to the airport the newly established gang was out in full force. Bullets flying, cars abandoned, tires spinning in the mud. And although I had been taking an armored car ever since I was held up at gunpoint earlier in the year, I was still told to lie down and stay down. The gang members were running down the side of the mountain and coming up behind us. 

You’ve probably heard the rest. We made it to the airport, I flew to America, and then had absolutely no idea that the next time I saw my girls would be 6 months later in a brand new city. 

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It’s been a full year since I’ve seen La Limyè Ministries home base. The 5 beautiful buildings full of so many memories, a house full of personal belongings, my sweet guard dogs and so many dedicated employees, neighbors, and ministry outreaches that stole my heart early on. 

The literal blood, sweat, and tears poured into that place for 9 years. And then I left, the gangs moved closer, and everything changed. 

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Home. 

It’s sentimental. It’s not the stuff inside. It’s the memories. The ministry. The start. The beginning. It’s been a battle feeling like I lost it all and yet it’s still standing, and strong too. 

Employees are still there all day and night. The houses are still just as beautiful in their pink, blue, and purple Caribbean paint.  The garden is blossoming and the fruit is given away. Ministry continues and for that I am so grateful. The gang has not entered our town. 

Thank you, YHWH. 

So I’m learning that I can have my heart in two places. I can do ministry in two places. I can love where I am but still miss where I came from. 

I thank God everyday for moving us here. It was truly a blessing in disguise. A blessing I never saw coming especially when I was Stateside praying for the Red Sea road to part while my tears continued to overflow the sea itself. 

And although we’re happy here, there’s still a broken piece off of our hearts. A lingering grief for what was, what might become. Life in Haiti is so unknown. So little stability and lack of control. We never know what tomorrow will bring. And in a single day, everything can change. 

But alongside the unknowns and the adjustments I feel so blessed. 

I get excited when I learn a new back road that I didn’t know of 6 months ago. I’m thankful when someone at the eye clinic recognizes me from church and it feels like I’m finally making acquaintances here. There’s a part of starting over that feels good, fresh. To begin again. Surrender. 

“The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter.”

Psalm 30:5 MSG 

My heart is down South and up North and honestly just wherever the girls are. 

My heart hurts and my heart is happy and life here is learning to live with both. 

Everything is temporary. 

God is eternal. 

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:18 NLT