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Rainstorms on cloud 9

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I wake up to a video of large groups of men, women, and children fleeing their homes in the middle of the night because the gangs arrived and war is happening and they were forced to evacuate with nowhere to go. There is no motel down the road. There is no spare bedroom at your closest friends house. There is nowhere to go but they have to go, somewhere, in the middle of the night, with no street lights.  They run.  My phone beeped and I opened the message. A dead man lying in the road covered in blood and taxis and motorcycles are just passing by. It’s just another day, a new normal sight to see. Perhaps gunned down by the gang. Perhaps apart of the gang and gunned down by police. No one knows. Did he lose his way as a teen and had no one to turn to? Did he get so desperate for food for his daughter that stealing was the only option he thought he had? Was that day just the day he would be taken from earth and his little boy is waiting for him to get home not knowing he’s drowning in h

Peace in His plan

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 I want to eat cheeseburgers and drink milkshakes. I want to blow dry my hair and get a manicure. I want to drive in a car alone and go actual grocery shopping. I want to go to a church that speaks my language and be around the family that I’ve known since birth.  I do, I crave those things.  But I also love the freedom of no expectations here. No stress if my hair is a mop and my clothes don’t match. Eating cereal with water because I can’t buy milk is ok because at least I have cereal and there is nothing else to tempt me like expensive fast food. I love waking up to roosters crowing and children playing even if it is 100 degrees inside. I love being stuck and stranded if that means there is always time to study the Word and know Him more and never the hustle and bustle that neglects that time. I love that when everyone is secluded to their homes more than not these days that means I cling to Jesus, my best friend, that much more. Because although it hurts, it makes me stronger. It m

Childlike Faith

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 I want to be like Ketchina.  While chaos fills the house and her sisters are pitching fits and annoying each other and crying for no real reason and some are taking a bath and some are brushing teeth and Mommy Ellie is raising her voice for just a little bit of order and peace in the house and the nanny is running around looking for toothbrushes and towels and it’s loud and chaotic and hectic and messy and I’m frustrated and tired and bossy… And then there’s Ketchina.  Sitting peacefully on the bench singing her hymnal songs.  Not paying attention to the wreck around her.  Not paying attention to the mess around her.  Not paying attention to the chaos around her.  Just peacefully singing songs to Jesus while awaiting her turn to take a bath.  I wanna be like Ketchina.  Turn off the worldly news and the social media and the bad mom judgments and the security warnings and the chaos and stress in life. I want to block it all out, ignore it all, and just sing. Sing to Jesus.  Having speci

Mental Health

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 I googled “what triggers a tension headache”  The response I read from Medline Plus was: “Tension headaches occur when neck and scalp muscles become tense or retract. The muscle contractions can be a response to stress, depression, head injury, or anxiety.” 3/4 I have. Guess it’s not sinuses.  I haven’t felt good the last few days. I thought maybe a virus. But then I also thought maybe just stress that indeed does weaken the immune system. I honestly think I’m out of touch with my emotions in a way. Trauma is one of the blames for that. I hear a gunshot or I read about the war going on in Port Au Prince and I have to quickly just put it to the back of my brain so I can get through the day. Mentally. But physically I think it does more damage than I want to admit. And with feeling like you always have to be strong, be alert, be organized, be ready, be prepared because the kids and the ministry and the emails and everything else is pulling you in every direction- eventually, the pain ca

THANK YOU!

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 On April 29th 2016 Dachena joined our family.  She was 13 months old wearing newborn diapers. Purely a sack of bones. She didn’t even have the strength to sit up from the lying down position and didn’t know how to drink from a bottle.  Starvation almost took her life.  On May 1st 2016 Ciarha joined our family. She was 5 months old weighing 8lbs. She was so severely malnourished with Kwashiorkor that she had to be hospitalized for several weeks and even got a blood transfusion.  Malnutrition almost took her life.  (Unfortunately staying with the biological family isn’t always possible or safe for all children. Although that’s always the aim to support.) I say all this to say:  I am beyond grateful for everyone that donated towards our care package project.  But I can’t go on without recognizing everyone that also keeps La Limyè running year round. I wouldn’t have been able to feed the village if I didn’t have the funds first to feed my own children and keep a roof over their head. So w

Care Packages

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 The mother of one of my students in our Special Education/Handicap learning center asked me for a job the other day.  I know she desperately needs it.  La Limyè already pays half of her yearly rent for her house because if not she and her daughter would truly be homeless.  I’m encouraged that she’s asking for work, not just handouts…but I literally have no work to give her. Every position is full and I can’t think of any job to just “make up” for her to do.  The rise in prices, the fall of the economy, the insecurity…it’s crippling for these people.  All that to say, my employees need to be paid, the girls have to be fed, school fees need to be met, but right now the most dire need is to help our neighbors.  It would be a blessing and truly an answer to prayer.  I have 26 employees  23 families in our Special Education learning center.  Around 35 in our local church.  Any extra we raise can go to the people in our village which would be around 75 people!  For $15.70 each we can provid

Reality in this season.

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I can no longer travel freely.  I no longer feel like I have a choice on what I want to do.  I can’t be seen on certain roads at certain times.  No one stateside can come visit me.  The gangs have spread out and their power seems to have grown too great for anyone to stand up against.  The people are hungry.  The hungry are starving.  The churches are mourning.  Willing to risk my life to serve here is now a higher cost if that means it’ll affect my children and their future.  I hired an armored car service to take me home last time I flew in.  Life as we knew it seems too distant to remember and the new season seems too much like a taste of hell on earth for the Haitians just trying to live.  And yet I’m surrounded by the most selfless, God fearing, humble Haitians who even with a paycheck I know it’s still hard to make ends meet.  The Haitian currency was about 40 gourdes to every American dollar when I moved here and now it’s 120 to every 1. Costs have risen. Help has fled.  And if